tinge

Chapter 1 - The Empty Chair

On a cold October evening, the chandelier above the Hawthorne dining table cast a warm gold light over everything except the girl standing beside it.

Lily Hawthorne was seven years old. Her brown hair hung in two careful braids, though one ribbon had come loose, and the old white cardigan over her pastel-blue dress had been washed so many times that its cuffs no longer held their shape. She carried a small tray against her chest. On it were a piece of bread, three carrots, and the chicken she had warmed herself because dinner had begun without her.

The dining table glittered with steak knives, polished glasses, and candles. Olivia, ten, sat beside her mother in a pink dress. Across from them sat Vanessa's mother, Celeste Vale, and her cousin Raymond, who had come for the weekend. At the far end, the single unused chair stood beneath the place where Michael normally sat when he was home.

Lily looked at the chair. Then she looked at Vanessa.

"Can I sit with everyone tonight?" she asked.

Vanessa, thirty-five, in a burgundy satin dress, did not rise. She merely extended one nude heel and pushed the chair with the sole of her foot. The chair scraped sharply across the marble and slid almost to the wall.

"No."

Lily's fingers tightened around her tray.

Vanessa pointed to the Golden Retriever resting near the kitchen island. Maple's food bowl had been placed on a rubber mat by the doorway.

"Your place is over there."

Celeste lifted her wineglass, as if something mildly inconvenient had happened. Raymond stared at his plate. Olivia's fork paused halfway to her mouth.

"I can be quiet," Lily whispered.

Vanessa snatched the tray from Lily's hands. The quick movement left Lily's fingers curled uselessly in the air. Vanessa set it hard on the floor beside Maple's bowl. The metal rim struck the tile with a small, ugly noise.

"Eat there."

Lily stood frozen. At school, the other children had been talking about weekend dinners with their families. She had told her teacher she was having a special dinner. Now her face burned with the effort of not crying in front of the guests.

Earlier that afternoon Lily had stood before the classroom mirror, smoothing the little ribbons in her braids. Her teacher had asked what she hoped to do over the weekend. Lily had answered, "Eat dinner with my whole family." It had sounded like the smallest wish in the room. One classmate wanted to see a famous magician; another wanted a pony. Lily had imagined nothing more extravagant than passing bread to Olivia and hearing Michael ask about her spelling test. During the drive home she had rehearsed the question she would ask Vanessa, changing it three times to sound more polite. Now she understood that politeness had never been the problem. She watched Olivia watching her, hoping the older girl would move over or say her name. Olivia only stared at the place setting in front of her. The chandelier's light made all the clean plates look identical. Lily wondered why hers had to be different.

She bent to retrieve the same tray. Maple raised his head and leaned toward her, his tail tapping once. Lily lowered herself onto the floor, careful to keep her dress from brushing the bowl. She did not begin to eat.

The front door opened.

Michael Hawthorne, forty-two, entered carrying the handle of one black suitcase. His navy coat was creased from travel and his white shirt sleeves were rolled beneath it. A meeting in Chicago had ended early, and he had driven from the airport imagining Lily's delight at the surprise. Now he stopped in the archway.

His eyes moved from the crowded dinner table to the dog bowl and finally to his daughter on the floor.

"Lily?"

She looked up. "Daddy."

"Why is my daughter eating on the floor?"

Vanessa put down her glass. "She needed to learn where she belongs."

The room seemed to contract around the sentence. Michael looked at the tray, at the place the chair had scraped across the marble, at Lily's wet cheeks.

"Who told her to sit there?"

"Michael," Celeste said, "don't make a spectacle in front of family."

He placed the suitcase beside the archway and walked directly to Lily. He crouched, gently took the tray from her hands, and set it safely on the kitchen counter. For a beat, he looked only at his daughter.

"You didn't do anything wrong by asking for a seat," he told her.

He rose. Rage arrived so suddenly it frightened even him. He turned to the large dining table, caught its heavy edge with both hands, and heaved upward and forward. One end lifted. The table tipped once, dishes sliding before glasses and plates struck the marble. Olivia sprang from her chair. Raymond caught Celeste by the elbow. Maple retreated quietly into the kitchen, startled but calm.

"Michael! Have you lost your mind?" Vanessa cried.

He stepped between Vanessa and Lily.

"If my daughter eats on the floor," he said, breathing hard, "nobody eats at this table."

Lily stared at him from behind his coat. She was relieved that someone had finally seen her. She was also trembling at the noise he had made. Both feelings could be true, though neither adult understood that yet.

A glass rolled to a stop beside Michael's shoe. His anger drained enough for him to see the wreckage and his daughter's shaking hands.

"I'm sorry I frightened you," he told her. "Come with me."

Vanessa moved toward the door. "You cannot walk away from me after that."

"Watch me."

He took Lily's hand and guided her out through the side hallway, away from the broken glass. Olivia watched from the dining room, still standing where her chair had been. When she turned toward her mother, Vanessa was staring not at the overturned table but at the black suitcase.

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"He wasn't supposed to come home until Friday," Vanessa said, almost too softly to hear.

Olivia heard it. And for the first time, she wondered what else her mother had planned for a house without Michael in it.

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